During the first few months of our marriage, me and my husband had romanced less and fought enough to understand each other.The controversies were of trivial nature though.
We had an arranged marriage.So, some of the reasons to fight evolved as side-effects of living together. His unpunctuality and my disciplined approach ;his Mr.Know-it-all attitude combined with my bossy demeanor ; his ability to irk me due to my short tempered character- the list of mismatches is quite long. Both of us expected the other one to adjust first and thus invited a lot of meaningless trouble in the marriage.
The arguments took a serious turn when we started disrespecting each other’s values, feelings and priorities.We made criticised each other harshly for simple mistakes without knowing much what the other person was going through at that point.In short, neither of us missed a chance to hurt each other terribly with our insensible remarks.
However after a certain amount of time, we realised the bad impact such behaviour was casting in our relationship.We took our time to figure out the controversial areas which shouldn’t be allowed in a healthy discussion.It became an unwritten rule in our marriage to not talk about anything which had the ability to create a controversy amongst us.
Controversy
If you don’t mind my asking, I’ve always wondered about the emotions of an arranged marriage. It’s a custom I’ve only encountered once in person. Does love grow as you spend time together, or is it more a feeling of familiarity and respect?
Hi
First of all, thank you for reading the post.
Coming to your question,I am not sure if there is any specific moment in an arranged or even in a love marriage where we can say “yes, I am in love.” Love is not separated from the emotions of care and respect towards each other. In fact respect comes first before love.If we can’t respect someone, then how can we love that person? The more a couple respects each other as a human being,care for each other’s feelings, then love is bound to exist between the two.Moreover, arranged marriage has it’s own charm where two persons involve in the process of knowing each other and gradually “fall in love.”
One gets scared to think of spending life without the other one.